I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m languishing… and not for the reasons you may think.
I have control of my time, I get to create everyday and connect with amazingly creative folk from all over – AND YET… the amount of effort I put isn’t yielding the feeling or results it should.
That’s why July’s Creative Urge is dedicated to one of my favourite words and least favourite feelings: AMBIVALENCE.
A new world needs new options
A few months ago I listed to this amazing podcast episode of Creative Confidence aptly titled, Creative Leadership in Times of Uncertainty with Tim Brown.
While it’s 1 year old, it rings true for right now, particular when Tim (Chair of IDEO) talks about the difference between certain and uncertain times in the creative industries.
TL;DR: In certain times, the focus should be on execution (refining systems, processes and offerings). But in uncertain times, we need more creativity (not less) and new solutions to problems (not more problems).
Which got me thinking… what am I focusing on right now? Is my attention on generating options to solve problems? Or is my head stuck in iterating what already exists that was designed for now outdated scenarios?
There’s so much out of our control right now and blaming ourselves for what’s going on isn’t exactly helpful. So try, if you can, to not internalise the scarcity and instead start hunting for alternatives (in every part of life).
When you can’t find the matching sock
One of my biggest creative blockers at the moment is feeling ambivalent: I want to continue freelancing but I crave the stability of regular work.
For my fellow language nerds, ambivalence is a very misunderstood word. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, but that you hold mixed feelings about or are unable to choose between two (usually opposing) courses of action.
It’s what can keep you stuck to the spot for years because what you feel isn’t strong enough in one particular direction, or that you don’t have the impetus to choose one way or the other.
Heck, sometimes there isn’t a clear choice, no matter how much you try to see the situation from other perspectives because you want two things that can’t coexist (story of my life!).
So naturally I’ve done some research and here’s what I’m trying at the moment to combat ambivalence:
Journal about your ambivalent feelings. Write down the people, locations, objects and ideas that can’t coexist. For example, you want to leave your day job, but you’re scared you won’t find anything else.
Remind yourself that no situation is perfect. There’s positive and negative aspects to everything. Ambivalence is normal, try not to judge yourself for the way you feel.
Fully explore all options. Deeply investigate what’s going on by assessing every alternative that’s making you feel ambivalent. Ask friends for input, seek professional support, give yourself a little time and space to discover what it is that you need and want.
Refresh your personal values. This one is a biggie. Fine 3-5 words that articulate what you value most. Ambivalence can come from a lack of clarity around what really matters and the way to discern what that is for you is to create a few filters to run things through. Your values being one. I used this list as a starting point.
Move forward by taking action. It sounds counterintuitive, especially when you likely don’t feel like it, but taking action can pull you out of mixed feelings. Pick one option and try it on for 48 hours to see how you feel. If that doesn’t feel good, choose again. And again and again until you feel resolved.
I’d love to hear from YOU…
When your feelings are mixed better than a happy hour cocktail, what do you do? What practices do you turn to for solace that help you take action? (Asking for a friend lol).
Creatively yours,
Dr Maz xoxo
PS: Need a little accountability for your journaling practice? Join me for Unfurl & Unwind, drop-in journaling sessions.