For those of you who’ve been around here for a while, remember this one? Definitely worth a revisit before you read on.
2023 has met me with mixed feelings: at times it’s felt like being on cloud 9, but at other times it’s been like pushing shit up a hill, in more ways than one.
You could argue that that’s what life is, a mix of joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, ups and downs.
So today’s Creative Urge is dedicated to the restlessness inside of us that just won’t fucking go away (despite how much we give into it).
Am I anxious or bored, or both?
You might feel restless because you’re anxious or worried. You might also feel restless for opposite reasons, because you’re bored.
The first step in our journey to stillness and that elusive sense of calm is to recognise which one we feel (or perhaps it’s both?).
In my heart of hearts I know it’s almost impossible to feel bored unless you’re not being challenged (or perhaps you have lower levels of dopamine in your brain like me).
So a question I’ve been journaling on lately is: “where in my life am I in cruise control? And where in my life am I lacking challenge?”
On the flip side, boredom is so wonderful for creativity, but not great for maintaining the current status quo in your life. It can eat away at your motivation and mental health faster than a mouse that’s found the cheese.
I’ve been feeling bored lately of the things that usually bring me comfort, which to me is an indicator that I’m slipping into complacency (the more evil cousin of boredom).
To shift this, we must lean all the way into our creativity, more so than usual. Connecting the dots in new and interesting ways is the perfect way to break routine and bring in new energy.
Take a look at how you’re spending your day-to-day and shake things up: work at a different location, book a weekend trip with a friend you’ve been missing, or even start that damn hobby you’ve been meaning to pick up.
Am I overstimulated?
Endless notifications, doom scrolling, hours and hours on screens… it’s the perfect recipe for one overstimulated brain.
When we’re living like this long term, when we actually take a break, our brains simply can’t process anything, leading to a form of torturous restlessness that’s akin to being stung by tiny wasps.
I won’t tell you to put down your phone or turn off your computer – we’re too far gone for that – but what I will say is this:
Work WITH your senses, instead of letting them run wild.
I’ve adopted:
Noise cancelling headphones, playing binaural beats softly to drown out external noise)
A decluttered desk, so I don’t get visually overwhelmed
Burning incense, to soothe my anxiety, and
Wearing soft and cozy clothes, to make it feel like I’m wrapped up in a warm hug.
And finally, are my needs being met?
This is the hardest one for me due to childhood trauma: sometimes I can’t figure out what I need.
It’s probably what’s at the root cause of my restlessness and tangled up with a few other schemas, like abandonment and emotional deprivation.
It’s not about your basic human needs (though those are vital to meet first), but more about those higher level emotional needs, like connection, autonomy and meaning.
I found this great needs list which has helped me to name and own my needs, but somehow it’s not enough to squash the restlessness.
There are only so many needs we can meet on our own, the rest we need to seek out from other people and the world around us.
Restlessness might not feel like a choice, but what you do with it can be
That’s right – you can channel all that energy into a solution, instead of spinning on it as a problem.
Get out and explore, move your body and try new things: it’s not a silver bullet, but it’s one way to get out the anxious boredom funk.
I’m still there but I’ve set a few things in motion that I’m hoping will provide me the space, time and perspective I need to figure out why I’m so restless all the time (so stay tuned!).
Creatively yours,
Dr Maz xo
PS: I’m going to open up my books for more copywriting projects in the coming months. I took a big long break from that work at the end of last year after a few disastrous experiences, but recently I’ve fallen back in love with it – and I’m so fucking good at it that it makes me mad. Check it out.
"Get out and explore, move your body and try new things." Great advice Dr Maz. 🙏 Have a great week.